rike jokanan

Moon (Rembulan) – bilingual

It is a full moon two days from now. I am waiting for it. She might appear full, hiding her pocky face to make me happy…. She-Night, will you shower me with your bright blessing full of messages from the gods and goddesses? Or, would you tap my transparent bubbles bursting out all secrets of Universe? Shalom….

Dua hari lagi bulan purnama yang kunanti-nanti. Rembulan mungkin muncul bulat-bulat, menyembunyikan wajah bopengnya untuk membahagiakanku…. Dewi Malam, akankah kau menyiramiku dengan pendaran berkah penuh berita dari dewa-dewi? Atau, akankah kau letuskan gelembung-gelembung bening yang menyemburkan segala rahsia Semesta? Salam….

_DSC0539

Yio Chu Kang Rd – Oct’ 7, 2014 – 12:25am

Hello, Humans

Learning, love

Hello, Humans….

How would you care about me? Animal that lives in the same planet with you…. Please respect me.

If you have to kill us, it is not because of your sense of violence. If you have to kill us, it is because we are the chosen in sincere and beautiful way. Please don’t make joke of us before killing us, don’t torture us before and when killing us. Please do it gracefully. Please….

Singapore – October 4, 2014 – 3:24pm

Gonna Teach Myself How

Learning

Dear Readers, please read it in fun tone. No seriousness here indeed.

Do I feel stupid sometimes? Or, always? Most of the time.

How do I respond for feeling it? Happy as always. Not always, most of the time. See, how stupid I am, not even being able to identify the frequency of my doing or feeling this and that. So, how?

A pamelo from a friend

Feeling stupid is a good start, to be better. So, if people feel stupid everyday, it means they get better day by day – never ending stupid is never ending learning plus never ending getting wiser. Never ending seems so tiring. So, how?

When was the last time I made mistake? Just today. Do I plan to make mistake again? I don’t…. I know I will make more. Oh gosh, does learning take place? Hmm…. I think it does.

Do I get smarter? Yes, but why do I ask so many questions even about small things? How should I handle my self? How should I present my self? How can I solve all these?

Only one way – Am gonna teach myself how to….

But how? 🙂

Singapore – September 25, 2014 – 10:46pm

Haiku – River Bank

Learning

Splash of water

Gently sweeps a left shoe swaying

To the river bank

Muar, Johor – September 24, 2014 – 7:12pm

To Be Just Right

Learning

There are a lot of things left behind the schedule if I talk about my life plan.

http://www.globaldms.com/blog/bid/149727/Dodd-Frank-Act-Finds-Itself-Behind-Schedule

I plan to get married at 25 years old but happen to be single until 39. Plan to have a house by 30 but got it by 35. To have iPod, iPhone, iPad, MacBook as soon as they were launched but I could just got them all as one package two years ago — just right after I reached Singapore for a new job. To enjoy meditation years ago but being able to do it just three years ago. To do this and that, all with delay….

http://www.visionsforhr.com/2012/01/how-apple-changed-my-life/

But that’s life, to wait for things happen with real patience. When the time is just right, all will come. Needless to say, but like working on repeated actions requiring ergonomics, it takes good stance and poise to get all life plans done. Stance is focusing on priority, poise is doing the best.

http://www.boattest.com/Resources/view_news.aspx?NewsID=2997

To be just right is a main goal of mine now. To be at the point of understanding that I can only plan and work on my plans without extremely targeting when and how I should reach the dream. Dreams will come true, we should believe — as part of flame to keep up good things. But when and how…. That is just right at the end of the tunnel, we can only see the light without seeing the details of it.

Ahhh…. I’ve been so much treating my life seriously. Time to enjoy every tap of my steps and every tick of my second…. All is well and it can never be enough to say “thanks”. Anyway…

…. Thanks for everything, my Universe….

Muar, Malaysia – September 21, 2014 – 7:36pm

Out Of The Silo

Learning

Coming out from the silo is like going out of a dark cave – dark yet comfortable place to take care of my dwarf inside of me. Time flies and staying in this small room is not enough to breathe freely anymore.

I am coming out of the dark. After so many years secluding my own self it is time for me to break free, free from the real enemy — my own self.

It is time to come out of my hidden shell. The pearl is ready to shine. Shine!!!

Picture borrowed from http://www.bitrebels.com/design/photography-a-woman-breaks-out-of-her-shell-literally/

Bayan Lepas, Penang – September 17, 2014 – 6:07pm

Shrines in Kyoto

Learning, love, Map It!

Temples are scattered around Kyoto, Japan. I visited three of them…. Many remaining to visit in my next trip to Kyoto.

Bell

Mr. Stork…. perching on the roof of the shrine gate

The sky, blue….

Green and tidy….

Water from dragon mouth….

Lamp post, giant

And summer flowers are just decorating Kyoto street…. Sweetly greeting me.

Singapore – September 14, 2014 – 11:13pm

Nagoya, First Steps On Japan

Learning, Map It!

Another business trip and I just can’t stop thanking the Universe for giving me the life of abundance of freedom and freeness. What should I do but working as the best performer in my own scales? No need to compete, no need to crave for more recognition ‘coz the deeds are the rewards themselves. Thanks

Nagoya Castle under the Sep’ 9’s (almost) full moon

Moon was shining just two nights before it was brightly blinding.

This is the reflection of castle and moon on my room window glass.

Incredibly amazing, the effect of light has brought. From Nagoya we rode to Nagano. I stayed in a resort called Komagane Kogen Resort Linx. A nice resort with friendly people – staffs and guest alike. Mountains and country side have always been the soulmate. What a smart gift for my birthday! Thanks again.

_DSC1161

A unique watch just in front of the resort building and a small lake full with happy fish _DSC1143

Komagate mountainous area viewed from resort area

Down the road, shiny and warm… Before the front door is a small water fall….

Fresh hibiscus greeted me every morning. Thanks, my Universe.

Kyoto, Japan — September 12, 2014 – 11:53pm (local time)

Water lily in Borobudur

Learning, love, Map It!

A small terra-cotta bowl with water

And water lily plant is resting on it

Blooming; blossoms are happy under the sun

Emitting the spirit of eternity – living without dying, how? Spreading good deed and love to the globe….

The leaf is so near with the mud…. Living so close to the dirt – down to earth

The color…. so brightly graceful – ignoring where it grows.

See it close…. Details of water lily stun me.

Life is about composing a beautiful friendship by living to the fullest with the outstanding quality of each of the person….

There was a time when I was so enclosed, look so plain and insecure, hidden in my firm unreadiness to reveal my own self.

And, there was a time when I was so aware of my tainted body.

And, when all is done, who can deny the beauty?

Oh there was something, bothering? Sometimes…. But it was just a bug, a virus named insecure friend visiting once in a while to feel the revealing security.

Ooohhhhhh Ms. Sun, are you so radiant showering me so much light? Thank you….

All pictures were taken on September 7, 2014 in Borobudur Museum, Magelang, Indonesia.

YCK Road – September 8, 2014 – 5:49

One Year Older

Learning, love, This Person

Birthday has never been so important for me except (maybe) when I was 17 years old…. Sweet seventeen, not really sweet but sweet enough to celebrate it with my all classmates in my third grade of senior high; additionally, tandem with a boyfriend (a friend who was a boy) born on the same day but one year older than me.

Tomorrow (some minutes ahead) I’ll be one year older…. And, I don’t feel it special except (maybe) that I will fly to Yogyakarta then ride to Borobudur to trace back my soul journey.

Picture borrowed from http://www.dpreview.com/galleries/2249911620/photos/1723070/

My father was born near Borobudur temple and I think it is just serene to feel the breeze of that site in my early 39.

I feel so thankful, I feel so blessed for having been granted this life of mine. Being single – not as happy as the married women out there but I am still happy with so much time to take care of my self and to dedicate to my family and friends and many more. Idealistic, huh? Indeed, that is the only thing I can work on to live my life: crystalizing the concept from my scattered moments and spreading my concepts to all the monumental seconds of my breath.

I am not sorry to be current me. I’ve been going through ups and downs; the highest alps and the lowest abyss — my own scale.

Do you know that all my mother, father in heaven, sisters, brother, nieces, nephews and my beloved cats and all friends have been my biggest supporters. They supply me with their cabling energy that connect to me through my dreams and fantasy — their love has magically turn my imagination into reality.

So, I won’t leave them like those who never leave me….

Happy birthday to me. I love me. Long live me.

Yio Chu Kang Rd – September 6, 2014 – 12:03 / just after midnight

Kangen

Learning, love, This Person

Rasanya kangen menjadi anak-anak ketika apapun tak membuatku dinilai – betas sebebas kucing mau tidur, meang-meong, berantem, berteman dengan siapapun tanpa ragu berbagi cerita.

Asyik sekali jadi kanak-kanak. Memandang sesuatu tidak dengan penghakiman dan tidak takut dihakimi karena yang kutahu adalah suka dan ketulusan. Nggak takut orang nggak suka….

Mau bagaimana, sekarang sudah dewasa mau bertingkah mesti mikir umur, lingkungan mengawasi dengan berbagai macam mata: mulai mata buta hingga mata mikroskop.

Oh, ternyata masih ada rasa takut di hatiku – mau tak mau kualami saja. Nggak ada salahnya jadi dewasa di depan orang dewasa dan menjadi kanak dalam kesendirianku dan di hadapan para pengembara. Mereka para pengembara itu tak sempat menghakimi karena bicaranya adalah hakim bagi dirinya sendiri, pandangan matanya adalah pantulan bayangannya sendiri, semua tentang dirinya sendiri maka mereka tak akan murka. Kanak-kanak adalah bagian dari kejujuran.

Gambar dipinjam dari http://cosmic-soup.com/nasal-breathing/

Marah, marahlah secara kanak-kanak – secara jujur, bukan kepura-puraan, kemarahan yang menyentuh, karena sepatu satu-satunya dicolong bukan karena sepasang dari sepuluh pasang sepatumu hilang. Sedih karena kucingnya mati bukan karena patung kucing keramikmu jatuh dan pecah. Malu karena masuk kelas terlambat, bukan karena tidak juara….

Tak mudah menjadi kanak-kanak karena kemurnian yang dijalankan. Ah, ini bukan kanak-kanak lagi; hanya teori ha ha ha….

Yah, sudahlah…. Biar kuhadirkan diriku dalam kesendirian saja. Khalayak hanya suka dipuja…. Nafas mereka adalah keramaian, aku mati di dalamnya. Nafasku harus keheningan, saat nafaspun tak sadar siapa dirinya…..

Yio Chu Kang Rd – 5 September 2014, 12:05 dini hari

Hutang

love

Namanya orang hidup pasti ada hutang: hutang uang, hutang budi…. Normal. Malahan kalau nggak punya hutang hidup terasa kurang berwarna – at least itu prinsip saya lho….. Sedikit dan bertanggung-jawab penuh terhadap hutang kita.

Berhutang dan menghutangi adalah setara karena tidak ada rumus bahwa yang menghutangi itu lebih baik daripada yang berhutang karena ketulusan seharusnya menjadi ukurannya. Jadi, mari kita nggrayahi awake dhewe (introspeksi, Bahasa Jawa) apakah kita lebih tulus menjadi penghutang atau terhutang. Wuda blejet (telanjang, Bahasa Jawa) di hadapan dirimu sendiri tidak membuatmu menjadi makin jelek; mungkin bahkan sebaliknya – menjadi semakin cantiklah dirimu.

Ada beberapa kesantunan dalam berhutang yang harus dijaga kalau masih mau dihargai sebagai teman.

Jangan pernah merasa lebih baik sebagai penghutang maupun terhutang.
Kalau mau hutang ngomong langsung, jangan pakai nyindir-nyindir. Sedapat mungkin jangan pakai calo….
Jangan pernah menjadi korban jika Anda sedang berhutang dan tidak mampu membayar. Bekerjalah! Jangan malas mencari alat pembayar hutang.
Jangan pernah memiliki niat untuk tidak membayar hutang kecuali jika ditagih oleh yang terhutang. Sebaik apapun Anda kalau dalam hati kau menganggap kewajiban membayar hutang terabaikan, maka busuk hatimu…. Ingat! Busuk hatimu!
Jangan pernah mengikhlaskan penghutang untuk tidak membayar hutang sebelum si penghutang mengatakan secara langsung bahwa dia tidak mampu membayar hutangnya.
Jangan menjadi sungkan sailing meledek antar teman karena posisi kalian berseberangan (penghutang dan terhutang).
Intinya…. hutang itu wajib mbayar ndul…. Kalau belum mampu bayar ya bilang, jangan diem aja…. Kalau orang Jawa bilang “semaya” (menjanjikan kapan mampunya)

Demikianlah uneg-uneg saya sekaligus sharing saya yang pernah punya hutang dan tidak mampu membayar sesuai akad awal. Jadilah manusia yang pemberani. Berani berhutang, berani membayar, berani semaya….

Foto dipinjam dari http://cacaicaoca.blogspot.sg/2012/03/hutang.html

Singapura – 20 Agustus 2014 – 11:11 malam

Anger In Range

Learning

The range of my life is considered so wide, unlimited but I hardly can feel it since all aspects of life of mine is limited by others’ interests. They have their circles, bubbles everywhere they are and their bubbles are pushing me backward, making me disabled…. Ruined in despair.

The range of my bubble is so little, resulting in inability to be free….

The range of my circle, of my interest, of my freedom, of my independence, of my free will, of my everything is so limited….

Do I see range or anger?

This is so tricky. My life is full of anger that makes me pressed and depressed amongst all limitations symbolizing physical ambiences.

Why am I so angry?

What makes me so furious?

Where have I been gaining this false victory?

Why am I so desperate? Begging to nothingness for nothing….

I see limited range because of my anger. The anger has created inflation to my bubble…. Just inflated, good – please don’t explode and leave me without place to wander…. I need my bubble, where I play and pray. Without bubble I can’t let my life go to the unlimited range….

The anger is roaring like a tiger in a cage, craving for the real jungle to survive.

Oye, Anger…. Please run, run, run…. Run unto to unlimited range, where you can roam and eat the prey, a real prey that you kill under Mother Nature’s nurture. Oye, Anger…. Leave me alone for a while, under the shadow of the vast imagination of your extract. Oye, Anger…. Go, go, go, bring me to the wilderness of life gist without bringing me out from my sanity. Oye, Anger never think of conquering me without telling me who you are. And, you are never what you are….

….. This anger in range….

Picture borrowed from http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2012/11/pictures/121105-best-space-pictures-220-mars-rover/#/space220-cosmic-bubble_60938_600x450.jpg

Yio Chu Kang Road – August 10, 2014 – 6:47pm

It is Lebaran Tomorrow

Learning, love

Idul Fitri – many of Indonesians call it Lebaran – is welcomed after Ramadhan. It is a happy day on which muslims have a big fiesta after fasting for one full month. We gather to pray together on the first day of 10th month of Hijriyyah calendar called Syawal month, have breakfast after that as a symbol of celebrating the victory of conquering the struggle within Ramadhan….

In Indonesia people have unique culture in celebrating this day. Many will arrange a “mudik” – going back to their home town to especially pay homage to family: parents, old generation, extended family. Mudik is generated from a Malay word meaning “headwaters”, the start of a river. So, mudik means going back to the start of a river – the place of origin.

Imagine millions of muslim exodus from big cities to small towns all over the country just to say hello and have small chit-chat once in a year. What a beautiful culture it is! People appreciate the high value of family bond or at least their bond with their “headwaters”. They try to remind themselves about where they come from…. Spiritually it is a symbol of tracing back the source of soul, tracking the journey that has brought us to this point.

After fasting for one month – just like caterpillar stop eating and starting to spin, becoming cocoon eating & drinking nothing – they start to realize that it is time to realize the beauty of soul like butterfly…. Butterfly taps its memory the phases of being egg, caterpillar, cocoon…. Mudik, tracing back the place of origin.

This might be not a make believe story but people in Indonesia are willing to get trapped with traffic jam for hours to be able to get back to hometown. In same cases they even cannot reach the hometown on the expected day but they are still happy on the way to home….

Ahhhhhh this is not easy to describe. But this Lebaran I have to stand by in Singapore for an assignment and can’t meet my mom in Indonesia.

I am ok as long as my mom ok but for sure I promise to myself that I have to mudik in Syawal month so I still can feel the spirit of Lebaran….

This is the feeling of longing for mudik – cannot tell properly how it feels but at least I shout it out here….

Mudiiiiiiiik!

Picture borrowed from http://www.meykkesantoso.com/2014/07/perkara-yang-musti-dilakukan-saat-di_29.html

Yio Chu Kang Rd, July 28 – 12:08am

Long Before

Bob, Learning, love, Poetic

Long before I hug you under the shed of light, you have chosen me to do….

It is not my intention. It is your wish to do….

Wings folded,

Halo un-rung,

Down to me you flew….

To my life, to my heart, to get absorbed by my soul.

And,

Time to press the button:

Last day of your physical being to be with us….

They call it death, let’s call it gate….

You’ve chosen somebody else,

I’m okay.

Be safe.

Be great. Be the bearer of the light….

I never regret for being your human – tears flowing isn’t a sign of sadness. Allow me to cry when remembering you, it is a celebration of my pride of being a mom of a cat that is now waiting to be born as a human being….

Wherever you are, be loving, be loved….

Thank you, Bob….

Singapore – July 23, 2014 – 11:22

A Plan To Borobudur

Learning

Just last night I had a whatsapp conversation with two of friends, Dydy and Ina. We decided to visit Borobudur in September…. to take some snapshots and enjoy the friendliness of our root – Javanese culture.

We’ll stay in Jogjakarta from Friday and leave on Sunday to each of our bases: Dydy to Surabaya, Ina to Tulungagung and I to Singapore.

But we need a good itinerary, if you have a good suggestion — would you please share with me?

Picture borrowed from http://abduzeedo.com/dreamy-photography-weerapong-chaipuck

Singapore – July 13, 2014 – 1:21pm

A Goose, A Kitten and A Bear

Bob, Learning, love

I saw a gracefully-moving goose, swimming…. Not swimming, she was paddling her feet below the water to show me that life is beautiful but with circulating movement of inner power. How do human being look so calm but struggling to reach the other end of their journey which is at the same point is the start of another trip….

Picture borrowed from http://ibc.lynxeds.com/photo/swan-goose-anser-cygnoides/swan-goose

I saw then played with a bear. The eyes are soft so intriguingly contradictory with his sharp claws and teeth. Oye, Mr. Bear…. Please hug me in your huge warm body to feel that your heart is distributing love to your real existence through your eyes…. Your claws are the only tools to survive from others’ attack. Your strength is ultimately powerful to pump your core of love to my life, your strong boundary shares my selfishness of being a spiritual being – I will never want others to dictate my spiritual journey. You take the honey from my hands softly because you know that I only have heart full of love for you. I have nothing but love…..

Picture borrowed from https://addons.opera.com/en/themes/details/sweet-bear/

For me this life is a group of circling boundaries set by Mr. Bear; boundaries full with claws that have been defeated by his loving eyes…. Take the claws and del the love.

And, I saw a kitten…. Kitten, my baby….. Thank you for staying with me for quite sometime. You accompanied me when I was sobbing and curling near the lake. You sat next to me doing nothing except staring at me with full of questions:

“Why are you crying?

Don’t you know I am your angel?

Don’t you realize that you are my guardian angel?

What do you know about us?

How do you produce your tears? Are they from the bottom of your soul? Would you please teach me how to cry sincerely?

Soul, don’t you know you are beautiful and deserve to enjoy this blessed life? Soul, do you know that I will always be with you?

How would you stop crying of missing the real one, while I am here with you? Would you please hug me and whisper to my ears that I am your loved one?”

….

The kitten, he is now a sacred soul with me in this very world…. Thanks for being with me when I was weeping by the lake. Thanks for whispering to my spirit that you love me truly. My dear kitten, you are opening your Life and my Eyes…. Live love, Love…..

They sat with me by the lake where I saw the reflection of my spirit….

My dear Bob, now he is living in a real heaven with full of love all his life….

Singapore – July 7, 2014 – 10:57pm

Drawing As A Therapy

life

When I get sick, I sometimes get confused if I have to visit doctor…. Too much medication will make me suffer: allergy, smelly urine, dizziness, etc.

Being a moron, oftentimes I forgot that I have my own way of healing myself. Meditation, sleeping (perfect meditation), drinking more water, working out, listening to music, drawing, etc.

I got constipation. Severe constipation I almost got poisoned because this body was overloaded with waste. I took medication and didn’t get better, I even could not sleep and my stomach and almost all part of my trunk got ached. So much burdened with unpredicted pain.

Then I remember something: draw something. I took my Faber-Castell watercolor pencils. Yellow, dark green and blue…. Lines, waves, curves, shapes of circles, a lot of color blocking and some words of positive affirmation. I imagined all those pictures are the representatives of my sickness as well as the curing & opening solution….

Amazing!

I got better… Really better, not 100% though. At least I know I am getting well.

Drawing is a therapy, yes it is.

Tips:

1. Focus on where the pain is coming from,

2. Take any color by reflect, don’t change color you like – let hand move to its slated pencil,

3. Keep focusing on the pain and follow the hand movement

4. Affirm that you are opening the door of relief to the sickness,

5. Change pencil as the hand wants to change the colors,

6. Affirm that the drawing is taking all the pain from the parts of body,

7. Calm down as the hand movement is feeling sufficient,

8. Thank to Universe for everything.

Thank you……

YCK Rd. – Sunday, July 6, 2014 – 4:19pm

Busy

Learning, love

I am so busy with myself.

My friends — some — think I’ve been so ignorant to them.

Then they left me behind.

Not sure what they want form me. They want my attention maybe…. But they at the same time forget that I need to share my self with my own self. I’ve been giving them my whole attention and it is time to hold! Hold.

I am sorry, my dear friends….

Please move on. With your hatred to me. Or, with your ignorance to me. Or, with your disappointment to me. Or, with whatever you have or not have for me…. Place and time are yours, and mine is now and here. Let’s move on to our direction we’ve chosen with all our heart.

Let’s love our selves; because before loving the air, we should be able to love our breath…. Let me love my self now; that way I can show you truly how I do love you.

No matter how goddamn upset with me, please forgive me. Please go on leaving me. Please love your self. Please let me love my self…. Let’s breathe freely.

The light is at the end of the tunnel. You reach it at the end of yours and I do mine. That fair.

Thank you, dear friends…..

Shangri-La Kuala Lumpur – June 20, 2014 – 11:22pm

Picture borrowed form http://fit.webmd.com/teen/mood/rmq/rm-quiz-toxic-friends

Friendly Taiwan

Learning

Finally I got the visa for Taiwan just one half day before I flew to the country. It was a business trip and at the same time to meet the warm people in which I am working.

Taiwan in my first visit last year has given me a very good impression. I was invited to a dinner with a friend. They welcomed me so nicely, respected me like an long lost friend. In the small restaurant almost all guests were looking at me because of my different apparel (I’m a muslim woman and wear headdress.) and they smiled at me after my friend explained “muslim, muslim…”.

And, since then Taiwan has been one of my favorite countries among them visited.

In my recent visit my friend invited all of me and other colleagues to a local restaurant to enjoy Taiwan local cuisine. A lot of food, big smiles, sincerity gliding in the air…. Thank you, Joanne….

Let’s note that when we come to a place, it is not the luxury that impresses you first. It is always how the human beings are treating us. Let’s be warm heart and welcome fellow creatures on earth. Once we share a good space for others, they would love to take us to their heart….

If I have time, I’d like to visit this country not for work, to take my dear family here to enjoy the warmth of the people’s heart in the small country.

YCK Road – June 16, 2014 – 12:06am

Picture borrowed from http://elderbrucewhite.blogspot.sg/2011_05_01_archive.html

Badly Need Taiwan Visa

Learning

I didn’t make a good preparation for my next trip to Taiwan, because I forgot that my visa to Taiwan expired – I thought it is still applicable…. In fact, it my China visa is still “alive”.

I had to apply for it immediately, Tuesday my visa must be ready because my flight is on Wednesday.

In this situation, I really need miracle… God, please would you give me miracle…. A chance to amend my insufficient preparation of this trip. My trip is always not merely business trip – there is always added value to it. It is at the same time my spiritual journey.

All is ok, only one cover letter is a bot worrying. I hope HR find my email the earliest and can issue the letter by Monday…. Please oh God, circulate Universe to support me realizing my action into goal.

Oooohhhh…. This time I’m solo jumpy.

Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening. Visa is done by Tuesday evening.

Picture borrowed from http://www.complete-india-asia.com/taiwan-tours.html

Yio Chu Kang Rd. – June 8, 2014 – 1:47am

Not….

Learning

Found that all those things don’t cater my needs. Found that all those don’t introduce my face. Found that all those are covering layers. Found that all those are just in my very blurred sight….

That is not what I want or what I need.

Ooooooohhhhhh haaaahhhh!

Tired of googling to find where is the one.

Just waiting, in this couch while enjoying my very self.

Singapore – June 2, 2014 – 1:11am

Picture borrowed from

The Power of Loss

Learning

I lost another cat of mine – Greece…. He is the cat coming to mom’s house in my latest visit to her. He came in early morning following our early cat, Greg who goes home every morning for breakfast. I sat on the front bench and Greece was shy, sitting under the bench – could not eat, too weak to do anything. He was skinny, with eyes closed and sticky with eye gunk all over….

Even after cleaning his eyes were still full of eye gunk

My mom as usual is not so keen with cat but then I decided to adopt him. So, I cleaned his eyes, fed him with fish + soft rice, brought him to vet for general checking on his body, his eyes and for vermicide drops. The vet said Greece’s fur motive is pretty – like Bengal cat. And, we took care of him well from then on. My mom showed better welcome. She loves cats actually – just her old age makes her weaker to get another one to nurse….

Ready for vet

I went back to Singapore – hoping to see Greece again in the near future – July maybe.

Better condition, he looked happier – he slept with me during my stay in mom’s home – about 4 nights

But he passed away…. He passed away yesterday – May 23 at 12:45pm.

My mom was also sad – did not want to tell me because I know she would not want to see me cry as I did for Bob’s death last February. The last message from her was that Greece puked and did not show up for 24 hours. When he got back home he was weak and ready for vet – but mom should wait for motorcycle to go. After that no news…. Until yesterday 6:14pm she just replied me through blackberry-messenger only when I asked her “How is Greece?”

“Dear, Greece passed away at 12:45pm today….”

Then I felt the loss again – not so big as when I lost Bob but it is strong enough to stop my mood to work.

Greece is my beloved after Bob. Greg and Greek are the next….

I learn a lot about loss and have always felt the power over me. It gives me courage to dive deep into my soul that I am connected to all beloved surrounding. If not connected, why should I feel the grief? And, shoo I be connected, what am I gonna do? Sobbing? Moving on and forgetting the passing-away? Or, marking it as another milestone of this soul path? The choice is here now.

But at the same time loss teaches me what love is really is. Love is always releasing beloved to go, to reach the next phase of life – even if the next is death.

Greece, you were with us not so long but has taught us how to cope with loss and how to love….

Mom shared with me how sad she is when remembering you and Greek followed her to aunt’s house and went back home tailing her when mom said “Come, come babies, go home…”

Thanks, Greece…. Let’s happily meet on another day in paradise.

Last condition before I went back to Singapore – healthier, happier, in fact ready to depart

YCK Rd – May 24, 2014 – 12:36pm

Super Woman

Learning

How would you describe a super woman?

Strong like Wonder Woman? Or, like Supergirl? Or whatever American heroines in Marvel comics and movies? That can defeat villains in one blow? What a perfect description. I can’t deny but I wouldn’t 100% agree with that.

My mom is a super woman, with all these ups and downs she survives, even she can share in her lowest level of condition.

She has had debt because she had to send all her children to school. Some children of hers were still under her responsibility: financially.

But, she is as strong as rock! With all those trials, she can even melt herself into a beautiful character that would be carved as one of the most valuable pedestal in this life. She is so tough, so precious, she is just as popular as Mother Theresa. Indeed her heart is sacred as that saint from India.

Yet, she is as soft as seaweed…. Imagine how wonderful her touch is to my heart, to her children’s heart, pets’ heart, the heart of those needy she’s been helping, the heart of God….

Rock and seaweed: Both survive in the sea water.

Do you know what she has done?

She takes care of three cats – stray cats which now become healthy and sweet pets in our home – Greg (formerly Mr. Grey), Greek and Greece after Bob passed away. More than that, she is also “taking care” of the mice which would come at night eating the left over of food our family throw away just before we lock our doors. She does think that good deed will never be wrong.

Would probably update what she has done in the future for all of Readers in the world 🙂

This might be something not highly special but my mom does that sincerely. Her love is always as true as her life.

I love you, ibuku…. Love live!

YCK Rd – May 20, 2014 – 1:17am

Self Development

Learning, love, This Person

I have got along with some special people who are willing to help boost my inner strength. They have done it in many different ways: discussion, interactive writing, sharing of work of art, auto-drawing, auto-writing, card reading, numerology, etc.

Auto-drawing is one of attractive way in doing so. A friend of mine has the capability and helps his other friends in drawing the spirit condition based on the result of his reading the frequency of the person’s spirit drawn.

You might want to be drawn regularly through chosen interval. I’ve been drawn once a year – three times. If we are willing to evaluate ourselves to overcome the potential imbalance reflected in the drawing, we’ll get to know that we improve spiritually.

My first drawing was a young girl walking down the street without any focus, just walk and smile, walk and smile…. Not focused, not mature.

Second year of drawing was someone with wings, a mature woman that feel lonely in the crown of big city. t was truly me drawn that way. I was enjoying the beauty of being a spiritual person but at the same time I felt so alone, no friend to talk about my spiritual development. Anyway, it was still a blessing.

This year, I am still with wings, smiling, with a pair of big ears, two hands unite in front of chest, standing on the top building of the city surrounded by the clouds. I am mature, thankful, surrender, listen to all around represented by big ears, seclude my own self from human beings and just be busy with the voice of heaven. You might want to see the picture; it is at the bottom of this post.

This really helps. Let’s love ourselves by knowing who we are…. Whatever methods are fine, just do the follow up seriously.

Intercontinental Hotel Phnom Penh – May 17, 2014 – 7:17am

Harapan

Learning

Harapan pada ibu pertiwi

Mengabdi demi harapan pada ibu pertiwi

Rengkuhan ibu pertiwi, merengkuh ibu pertiwi

Di pangkuan ibu pertiwi jiwaku terlahir kembali

Kembali, kembali dan lagi…. Setelah mengembara di antaranya.

Lindungi ibu pertiwi dari dahaga dan derita

Ibu pertiwi melindungi jiwa-jiwa yang singgah tiada akhir —

Berjuta-juta tahun cahaya panjangnya.

Tahun ini

Ibu pertiwi menyewakan tempat lagi bagi pesta-pora

Pesta-pora pengundang mara-bahaya….

Masih sanggupkah wahai, Ibu Pertiwi?

Harapan:

Tegurlah

Sentuhlah

Sudah saatnya

Harapan para ksatria merengkuhmu terlaksana.

Grand Hyatt Jakarta – 1 Mei 2014 – 9:18 malam

You, Me, Shadow?

Bob, This Person

opening the door,

will I see you?

or, is it only your shadow? pretending to be you….

did I live with you? or with your shadow?

is it now that you are real or shadow?

tears flow, flowing along the path pushing through the door at the end.

what end? is there an end?

or a start? what should be started?

are you there?

welcoming me or welcoming my shadow?

am I real me or just my shadow?

just the two of us….

staring at each other – shadow to shadow?

I just hope you are the one behind the door….

Hilton KL – April 30, 2014 – 12:49am

Alun

Learning

Alun….

Mengalun di laut, menerpa angin, diterpa angin.

Matahari menghias riak di ujung-ujung alun, bahai beledu bertebaran di karpet biru dan hijau laut.

Alun adalah: nafas satu-satu menyambung harapan pada kehidupan; degup jantung menghitung rasa hati; jentikan jemari membersihkan kuku yang memanjang setiap hari; semua, semua yang datang dalam untaian bebatuan mulia dalam hidup ini.

Alun, di laut kau mengingatkanku

Untuk selalu bersabar memberimu jarak, biar tetap mengalun….

Hilton KL – 27 April 2014 – 9:40 malam

Gambar dipinjam dari http://www.cepolina.com/sea-blue-turquoise-pureness.html

Bob’s 40th Day

Bob, Learning, love, This Person

This is the 40th day of his leaving me….

My dear cat, my dear son….

40th day is when soul is finally ready to completely leave this physical world – letting go of all who are loved to be sincerely separated physically….

Bob is now fully releasing me. And I am, too… Thank you, Bob for being my beloved – you’ll always be. Be peaceful, seeing me from behind the curtain of light. Be happy to see me, I will see you…

Sampeyan wis seneng ya, le…. Kuburanmu ora entuk disekar karo sing manggon ning ngarepmu lho, le…. Wonge wedi he he he…. Wis, ndhak papa – tak dongakne ae malah luwih matoh.

Salam kanggo Bapak Jokanan dan Didang ya….

I love you, Bob…..

Yio Chu Kang Rd – April 4, 2014 – 11:30pm

Flow

Learning

At the end of a long contemplation, what can be found is a vast ocean of forgiveness….

Forgive ourselves,

Love ourselves…..

Harris Hotel, Batam Center, Batam – March 26, 2014 – 10:32pm

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: